Emerald Energies - A Delightful Spiritual Retreat

Heal Brain Chemistry Disorders Without Drugs.
You Can. I Swear. I Did.
by MJ Sawyer

The title of this article is also the title of a lecture that I recently advertised in the Spring 2004 issue of the NEWLIFE EXPO magazine. It was late February when this magazine began to circulate. The numbers of calls and e-mails that I received were staggering. Prior to this time, I had not taken this aspect of my healing work out into the world in such a public way. I had worked with clients privately to assist them with brain chemistry disorders. Beyond that, meeting the deadlines for my book about (no surprise here) living with and healing brain chemistry disorders consumed my days.

I was reticent to speak about this topic in years gone by. Now I am grateful that I do. I see that the story of my recovery seems to bring hope to those who have lost theirs. I understand that like all great teachings, the example is far more effective than the instruction. I offer both to any who may be looking for their own path away from the distorted world of mental imbalance. I do this with an ardent wish that my story may provide a service in some way.

In the past, discussing my particular disorders with anyone outside of a very small circle of confidants would have been out of the question. There is often a stigma attached to those with mental afflictions. Too often, I had been a target of disdain and discrimination despite my efforts to keep my condition under wraps. During more lucid times, I had devoted my life to my acting career. My fear that those in my industry would deem me unreliable or unsuitable in some way gave me more impetus to hide the truth of my mental state.

At this time, I feel differently. I now believe that it isn't that there is something wrong with people who are thought to have brain chemistry disorders; it is that their brain chemistries are different from those who are considered healthy and so called, normal. One school of thought about those who are diagnosed with ADD is that these individuals are advanced souls who have trouble assimilating the vibrational frequency on our planet. Let me be clear, I am not professing to be an advanced soul; ADD was not one of the imbalances that I suffered. I am a simple, average being. This is why I feel sure that anyone can heal, as I have healed.

I was diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar disorder, OCD, panic disorder and social anxiety disorder. Occasionally, autistic behaviors would surface when I felt severely threatened. I did not have to heal each of these separately. All of the imbalances I listed are simply nomenclature for different manifestations of a brain chemistry disorder. I targeted the brain chemistry and for the most part, the rest took care of itself.

The bipolar disorder surfaced when I was about thirteen years old. That was almost forty years ago so the behaviors that I exhibited were not identified as a mental illness. It wasn't until I had a severe nervous breakdown when I was twenty-four that a name was applied to my way of being. At that time it was called manic depression. The terms bipolar and rapid cycling were not in use then.

I was finally diagnosed during the early 1970's which was the time that lithium and psychotropic drugs came far more fully into play. I was a willing guinea pig in those days. I was desperate to find relief from the turbulent violent mood swings that usurped my days. For seven years I lived in and out of mental hospitals. I underwent several series of electroconvulsive therapy. Every variety and combination of mood elevator, MAO inhibitor, hypnotic and mood stabilizer was administered by my psychiatrists. These doctors were considered the best New York City had to offer. They were truly earnest in their desire to assist me with the relatively new-found medications that were considered great panaceas in that day.

I seemed to only worsen with each chemical assist. I was often lost and unable to find my own home, hallucinating and violently physically ill from toxic shock poisoning. I was prone to repeated suicide attempts that I seemed to conduct in a dazed stupor. All drugs had failed to bring any relief. It was determined that I was not "a text book case." Ultimately, I was scheduled for a year long stay for observation in a mental hospital in Connecticut.

One of my doctors at that time said, "It's a good thing you have parents with money, otherwise you would have to go to a state hospital." This statement threw me into nineteen years of denial about my mental condition. It was at that moment that I chose not to be a manic depressive. I did my absolute best to function in the world without any medical help. I sought out every variety of alternative healing to help ease other aspects of my life that required healing. Nonetheless, those years were of nightmare proportions which finally culminated in a complete mental, emotional, physical and spiritual breakdown.

I subscribe to the belief that everything happens for a reason. I do not exclude the aforementioned breakdown from this notion. It was this event that forced me to accept that I had a mental illness, despite the fear of state hospitals that loomed ahead. This was a gift for had I not owned that I was sick, I never could have healed my condition. You can't fix what isn't broken, even if you're only in an illusion that there is no need for repair.

Once I owned the fact that there was a problem, I was able to apply what I had learned and experienced throughout the years of alternative healing pursuits. There was a very important step that needed to be taken before the healing of my brain could transpire. I needed to be willing to give up my illness and all my attachments to being ill. It seems ludicrous to think that anyone who had lived with severe mental illness for thirty-six years would hesitate to relinquish such a plight. However, when I asked myself for the absolute truth as to how this dis-ease was serving me, I learned that I was attached to it because as an abuse survivor, I was too frightened to be fully and consistently out in the world.

The mental imbalance had given me a reason to hide from all the unknown that terrified me. I accepted this to be true. I then committed to facing life and trusting that I could handle anything that came my way. I was earnest in this commitment and because I was, another truth surfaced which I am still working with to this day. Living with a mental imbalance was familiar to me. For thirty- six years, this way of being was in my experience, "my home." I had no understanding of what life would be like without a mental affliction. I was afraid of the change and the unrecognizable world that a healthy brain could provide. It didn't matter that if would be better, I was afraid of entering the foreign land of mental harmony.

I can tell you that since I have healed, the world is a new and often bizarre place for me. It is not that the external world has changed, it is that my perceptions have shifted, so everything I experience enters my mental, emotional and physical bodies differently now. I am amazed at how simple life is when a faulty brain chemistry is not in charge; choosing all my reactions and perceptions. I often feel as if I have landed on another planet. Absolutely everything feels different. Things are so easy now. I can laugh, work, play, rest and tend to the day-to-day without having to fight through every moment just to stay present and calm. I can sleep when I chose. Mercifully, I am no longer denied the gift of sleep.

The transformation is profound. I feel that it's as if there must have been a night in my new found peaceful slumber that a team of brain surgeons came to remove my devastated, dilapidated, exhausted brain; then replaced it with a balanced healthy brain. Yes, I am in a strange new world. Occasionally this gives me pause, but I can tell you that even with the startling novelty of it all, my gratitude for my changed existence knows no bounds. There were particular steps that I took to arrive at this state of mental amelioration. I will review them now.

1. Acknowledge that there is a chemical imbalance to heal.
2. Ask yourself how keeping the imbalance is serving you.
3. Release your attachment to keeping the imbalance in your life.
4. Commit to a complete healing and living your life in a way that you have never lived before.
5. Ask God (or whatever you call the Higher Power) to help you heal completely.
6. Trust that this is possible.
7. Pray for mental peace constantly.
8. Stay open to alternative healing practices and feel which ones are right for you.
9. If you are currently taking medications, do not jump off of them. Use them to help you stay balanced and focused enough to take control of your own healing process. You and your doctor will know when the alternative methods will suffice. You can then be weaned off of the medications. If you do not have a doctor who is open to your using holistic methods, find a doctor who is.
10. Be mindful of the fact that the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies are interconnected. In order to heal, all of these aspects of self must be addressed.

The following is a list of assists that were major contributors to my healing. Perhaps some of them will help you too.

1. It has become increasingly understood that foods have a great impact on the brain. The brain manufactures neurotransmitters which carry impulses between nerve cells and regulate our behavior. Nutrient concentrations affect them. They are controlled by what we chose to eat. For example, sugar stimulates insulin, which in turn creates tryptophan which is the substance that processes the neurotransmitter, serotonin. When people injest sugar, serotonin levels increase. This often creates an elevated mood and an increase of energy. This boost, however, will soon be followed with fatigue and depression because it is a result of increased sugar or simple carbohydrates.

It is advisable to avoid sugar, chocolate, caffeine, alcohol and drugs. If you can tolerate carbohydrate, stick with small amounts of the high complex variety. Also avoid foods high in saturated fats. There are some now who believe that Omega 3 fatty acids are capable of controlling mood swings. I did not try this, but it might be worth investigating if this interests you.

You can improve your condition through diet, and nutrition because the brain is a physical entity. Keep in mind that the things that we are told are harmful for our bodies like additives and preservatives are having an impact on our brain as well.

2. Check for food allergies. Certain foods can produce inflammatory compounds which manifest as psychological disorders once they have traveled to the brain. Wheat and dairy are especially prominent in causing brain allergies. It is the gluten found in grains and casein, the main protein component in milk and milk products that have been found to be highly allergenic.

Some believe that there is a connection between ADD, Autism and childhood vaccinations. A knowledgeable homeopath can offer remedies for clearing the effects of such inoculations.

3. Be sure that your candida yeast is in balance. If you crave sugar, carbohydrates and other yeast or fermented foods, chances are you have candidiasis which is an overgrowth of yeast that releases large amounts of toxins into the body. This condition can wreak havoc with the brain. It often manifests as anxiety, fear and/or depression.

4. Check for heavy metal poisonings. I had several. I used homeopathic remedies to heal them. I use the Master's Miracle products to keep toxin free now.

5. Hormones strongly affect the brain chemistry. The more balanced the hormones the better brain chemistries fare. There are studies that contend that those with bipolar disorder and/or autistic behavior often suffer from hypothyroidism. It is possible to have subclinical hypothyroidism which is not successfully detected through blood test. It can be identified by staying very still and taking your temperature under the arm for fifteen minutes, first thing in the morning before your stir from your bed. If you find that for several consecutive mornings your temperature runs under 97.6 and you have cold hands and feet, dry skin and memory and concentration problems, you may have subclinical hypothyroidism. This can be a contributing factor to brain imbalances. A doctor who works with natural medicines or a good homeopath can help you with this.

6. Vitamin and mineral deficiencies need to be rectified. Be sure that you have appropriate amounts of them. Know that B vitamins are essential for balanced mental health. Those with Bipolar disorder do not metabolize B12 well. B12 is necessary for proper brain function. L-glutamine is important for mental and emotional healing. Gingko Biloba strengthens circulation to the brain. It is good for enhancing brain function and it is thought to be particularly effective when combined with Coenzyme Q10, an enzyme that helps to deliver more oxygen to the brain.

7. There are homeopathies that cleanse and heal all of the bodies thoroughly. I worked with my homeopath to find the correct remedies and the right doses when I was healing. Unless you are a professional homeopath, I strongly suggest that you do the same. There are numbers of remedies that are available for chemical imbalances in the brain.

Some examples follow: Argentum Nitricum is often excellent for ADD and/or panic disorder. Tarentula Hispana can assist with ADD and/or mania. Depression can be alleviated with Medorrhimum, Hepar Sulphuris, Phosphoros and Cyclamen Europaeum. Manic depression can be treated with Anacardium Orientale, Camphora and Crotalus Horridus. Remedies for anxiety include Plumbum Metallicum and Lycopodium Clavatum. I have just named a few. The list of homeopathic remedies for healing the brain is a lengthy one. In order to know which ones are specifically correct for you and how much to take, I reiterate, go to a professional and let them guide you.

8. I feel strongly that vibrational sound healing and energy balancing are extremely valuable tools for realigning brain chemistry. I may be biased because these are two of the tools that I have used to assist myself and my clients for the past fifteen years. When I finally committed to healing my own brain chemistry, it hit me that the type of healing that Spirit sends through me is the perfect modality for tending to my own affliction. I might have found the delay in the discovery of this insight to be incredulous, if I were not of the opinion that answers come to us when, and only when, we are ready for them.

The vibrational sounds that I channel when I work with aligning brain chemistry are of particular frequencies that not only cleanse the brain of the energies that contribute to malfunction, they also rectify faulty chemical and electrical responses and realign the brain. I also work with a particular triangular configuration between the earth, the whales and the Pleiades. During this part of the treatment, the sounds that come through are the vibrational healing sounds of the whales and often the dolphins come through at that time as well. I know I look quite absurd when they use my instrument to emit their sounds, but they have been so helpful to others that I have no choice, but to relinquish attachments to my vanity.

Utilizing sound and directing energies are also valuable tools for clearing entities and conducting soul retrievals. I have found entities to be quite prevalent in those who have brain chemistry disorders. I often work with clients who are inundated with numbers of entities that have been very busy wreaking havoc with these individuals' minds and emotions. In this type of healing, the entities are cleansed and a soul retrieval is performed. After this a successful healing process can begin because the person being healed is fully present in the body and free of energetic interference. I firmly believe that finding a healer who can assist you with this type of healing is of major importance.

9. There was another type of healing that was instrumental in my recovery. This healing required enormous faith in God and the power of healing. There was a point when things were starting to turn around for me and I knew I had vastly improved. At that time it so happened that an Indian saint named Sri Mata Amritanandamayi (known as Amma or Mother) was visiting New York City. She is a woman who travels the world with the intention of awakening people to their fundamental Oneness. She embraces all who come to meet her. I am told that people travel great distances to receive Amma's hugs. Although I have great respect for her work, I am rarely attracted to any type of mass gatherings designed for experiencing the presence of holy beings or anyone other type of being for that matter. However, in this case I felt an extremely strong pull so I, albeit begrudgingly, joined the crowd.

During the first half hour they asked us to chant. There were well over 2000 people there. While we all chanted I reached into the depth of my soul and implored God to heal my brain disorder completely. We lined up by number for the experience of Amma's healing hugs. I was number 2000. In the wee hours of the morning, I finally received her loving embrace. And again, I earnestly prayed for the light of God to transmute my affliction. This event was life-changing because in very little time, all that was left of my imbalance was completely cleared.

I do not mean to imply that one should track Amma down and fly out for a hug right away. I am simply suggesting this; if you get a strong feeling that a healer with a much touted track record can help you and if you are willing to do whatever it takes to receive their particular type of help, it is likely that the person to whom you are drawn can be of service to you. Trust that there is a knowing that we all have and can access readily, once we get really clear on a goal and stay out of our own way.

In summary, I was really quite ill with imbalances that I was told would never go away. I am completely well today. My healing involved my being truthful to myself about my illness, a commitment to letting it go and trust that God would show me the way.

The "way" for me involved proper nutrition, healing allergies, clearing heavy metals, balancing my hormones, great numbers of homeopathic remedies, sound and energy healing, cleansing entities and numerous soul retrievals. I had to trust in my intuitive responses to healing options that came my way. I had to find my way to a deep knowing that God energy can heal anything.

I honestly believe that I recovered completely because I knew in the depth of my soul that God could help me get well one day. My prayers for my own healing have been answered. Now, it is my prayer that those of you who are still wrestling with brain chemistry disorders can also find your path to the peace, relief and freedom that complete healing brings.